I can’t tell if my sentimentality is holding me back or enhancing my work. As I thought back to my prep work before making this collage, the process of sorting through my collection of images, I realized that the images I gravitate toward–and eventually use in my collages–are the ones that hold a deeper meaning to me.  For example, with this new collage, I started with over thirty images and only five made it into the final piece.  (I’m not counting the numbers. They’re just how I’m marking chronological time across my collages).

This collage–to me–symbolically tells the story of the first eight years of Kerouac’s life. And in a way, it also tells the story of my own childhood.  It seems like when I get into the meditative space of arranging images, I tell Kerouac’s story as well as my own. I choose a composition of images that speaks to our similarities. It’s more than just biographical art-based research now.

We have to think about who our research and art is supposed to serve. Who is my audience? This question doesn’t hold me back from creating my collages, but it does keep me from sharing them. I’m not sure if another living soul would understand what this collage is saying.  And that makes me wonder if the time and energy I’m putting into the creation of these is more for my benefit than for my audience’s.

The Cougar Diorama at the Grand Canyon. I imagine that I am that lady cougar lying there and my husband is the male cougar and we are going to take over the landscape.

It is amazing how art can evoke and promote reflexivity over and over again.

Pictures of AMNH. Thank you Gene and Cristina for making this all possible!

Each time I go to the American Museum of Natural History I have a new experience. Cristina’s activities deepened my thinking of doing visual and arts-based research. I didn’t have to think twice to draw what I saw from the diorama below. I became lost with the diorama as I was drawing a portion of the scene that stood out to me.  The sharing opportunity was memorable because I believe we all have a stronger connection with each other and with the course as a result of this authentic experience.

Reflecting on this picture brings back more memories and raised awareness that visual and arts-based research welcomes multiple voices, meanings, and perspectives.  I remember visiting with my son’s class last year, and if I recall correctly, each of the students thought that the animals were real. They also had to draw and reflect on what exhibit stood out to them, but because of the day time rush experience being at AMNH, I am not sure if the students captured the dioramas? Perhaps a night experience would be best for them.  What I take from these varied experiences is that regardless of the groups that visit AMNH, each person will define his or her own meaning of what he or she believe’s to be important.

As I think about my own project I am no longer concerned of the message that my visual media project will convey but that it will evoke a feeling of wanting to go to see an advisor. More reflections to come, stay tuned.

Visiting the museum was a wonderful experience for me. I found the drawing of the dioramas when we were by ourselves most meaningful. I drew the mountain goat diorama, and I got really lost in the scene. The interesting thing for me was how the first angle I choose really drew me into the mountains and being in the mountains and clouds brought out a feeling of awe and wonder for me. Towards the end, I changed my angle to be more focused on the goats. There was a baby goat looking up at its parents. There was something hesitant and sort of forlorn to me about that part of the scene. Hard to explain why, but it definitely drew me into a different sort of feeling and understanding about what was going on. I was interested by how much one scene offers when it depicts the complexity of every day life. This is of special interest to me because of work pedagogical work engaging with people about the dialectics of every day life and systems of oppression. As I mentioned earlier, Paulo Freire is a particular source of inspiration to me about how to use visual depictions of moments of life that spark generative and collective inquiry about the ways the structural shows up in the interpersonal and the interpersonal shows up in the structural.

In terms of my project, the trip to the museum got me thinking about the environment in which I choose to do my work. I think of my project as tapping into experiences I’ve had and the work I do with fabric, paint and paper extending out of that connection between emotion, memory and my hand’s movement. Being in the museum, I realized how much our environment (where we choose to sit, what we choose to look at, what we might be listening to at the time) effects our interrelated systems of motor movement, cognitive processing, emotional wisdom and insight.

I also started to think about adding another element into my work. I’m interested in thinking about rubbings of surfaces in places that are significant to me as being the back drop to the text and fabric I put over that. I’m still not certain about it, but I put paper over parts of the door frames and the wooden floor in my mother’s apartment and drew over it with colored paper to see what that felt like to me (I think I would need a different kind of paper because it was hard to see the texture on regular computer paper). I’m going to have to move out of my mom’s apartment at the end of April (that story of NYC real estate and how bad succession law is for rent stabilized apartments could be another piece). So, the idea of how a rubbing brings your into the physicality of a place felt important, especially in light of the conversations we had earlier about how physical care taking work is and how the searching I’ve done around connection and loss is such a step by step, day by day, action by action type of experience.

I’d love to get started with really starting to make something this weekend. I’m still thinking about where and when and the environment I’d create around myself. I’ll keep updating this thread with my plan because I think that will give me the encourage to get going!

Week 7 Posting Arts-Based Research

I have spent a lot of time thinking about my maps and the census data. While it borders on the edge of obsession, it seems to resonate with me. After looking at the data in Excel, I was horrified at how segregated Long Island really is/was in 2010. I began to sort the numbers within Excel, noticing that a different story was revealing itself based on my parameters.  I think about how art can be used to bring light to issues, but I know that I oftentimes engage with people within my own bubble. I want these maps to initiate a conversation with people who think differently than me and I’m not sure how to accomplish that.

I showed a colleague (lifetime Long Islander) an early drawing of one map, with the racial makeup of the towns, and it elicited an extremely strong reaction. Disbelief, wonder, shock. I myself am feeling similar emotions as I create the maps. I am trying to find ways to represent different datasets on each map, giving respect and attention to another part of the story. It is interesting that depending on which parameters I choose to highlight from the census data, my map will reflect a different story. For example, a map with the threshold of 20% black population in my color-coding will look entirely different than a map with a threshold of 16%. I feel that I am almost manipulating the data to tell the story I “want” to tell. I suppose this is a lesson that data can be manipulated in order to serve the purpose of the writer and as such, I am trying to make many different maps in order to tell many stories specifically to protect against my inherent bias. On the other hand, I suppose it is my prerogative as the artist to convey what I want to convey.

I made a stencil of a map on a large canvas, and I am thinking of treating this map as a kind of information key for the viewer. On this map, I want to have each town name and total population listed within the borders. This way, the other maps will have more meaning and power, as my chosen datasets are put in context of the town’s population at-large. Including a map with each town’s name will serve the purpose of calling out the worst offenders, and bring local recognition to Long Islanders who view the maps, potentially eliciting more, “Holy crap! Massapequa is that segregated/racist?” (Inductive reasoning leads me to imagine that higher levels of segregation = reinforcement of more racist views/actions, but I am aware how dangerous this thinking can be). I also wonder if I should make my compiled 2010 Census data available to the viewer, or if this is simply too much information.

The other point I am trying to make with this map is a belief that this hyper-segregation is contributing segregated ways of thinking and knowing. How open to polysemia or embracing difference can a towns-person be if they are only seeing white in their schools, grocery stores, parks, and public spaces? Furthermore, how can children of these townspeople learn to interact with people from different backgrounds?  I imagine that it is in these environments when stereotypes and racial biases run rampant, with young people only able to entertain interacting with a person from another race in their imagination.

Having never painted before, I have tried many different techniques to try to achieve what I view in my head and that is why my maps are all different. I would love to share my work in person to get an idea of which maps work, which maps could be redone, and any other ideas anyone has to push me in the right direction. Apologies for the long post.

Nick

Racist HOLC Map from the US Govt in 1930s where they color coded neighborhood desirability based on ethnic makeup. https://dsl.richmond.edu/panorama/redlining/

I have found a few more images, by chance, of my kids walking. One was another screen saver on a tablet that I do not use very often. As I turned it on, the other day, I discovered the image sitting t here. It gave me smile, because it was evident to me that I have a thing for taking such pictures.
As I have collected a few more pictures, I think, I will take another video of my kids looking at them and discussing them. As I reviewed the first video interaction, I realized something. I spoke in class about memories and how they are destroyed once we put them into words as we write or talk about them, but as my children looked at the pictures and could not remember most of them being taken, I realized that I am not destroying, but creating memories, which was a lot more positive! Given my “Russian” tendency to gravitate towards sadness, melancholy, and nostalgia (which is seen even in this week’s title of the post), these were new emotions of joy and hope of thinking about my children and them growing up, which delighted me very much.
I have also decide to ask my children to make a free drawing of what these images make them feel like as they view the next set of images. I have prepared two small canvassed and some acrylic paints. I decided to use paint, because the colors have a potential to represent their feelings on an energetic level. I do not know if I will be using hem, but I would like to incorporate my children trying to express themselves in more than one way, using more than one mode of expression.

The image discovered as a screen savor on an old tablet.

“[T]he actual work of art is what the product does with and in experience”                            (Dewey, 1932.  Art as Experience, p.3).

I have often wondered when art becomes Art. Is it when the artist conceives the idea in her head and decides, “this is what I want to do?” Or when finally, at the end of several journeys her ideas are translated to the canvas? Or when the viewer/perceiver interacts with it?  Will my project be considered art? Is it because I birthed it? Or because someone interacts with it?

I also wonder if my project could be considered art-based research. Gerber et. al. in Levy (2017) states that ABR brings awareness and knowledge of self and others, and appreciates and includes nonverbal knowledge.

This takes me to what I experienced when viewing Nick’s maps and my reaction to them. I had this feeling of outrage and sadness. Nick’s maps with the numbers spoke volumes to me. Suddenly, I recognized a reality hidden from me before. Nick could just give us some statistics and we still could understand the reality of the systemic racism on Long Island, New York but the coloring of the maps with the numbers was more effective. I could not escape my feelings by rationalizing and analyzing them. I felt them first and then I analyzed them. I had a visceral reaction to them. My body knew before my mind that this was a crime scene. Marginalized groups are denied the opportunities afforded to power groups. Thus, I argue that according to Dewey, Nick’s maps are an actual work of art in that it make me aware of the systemic racism on Long Island. Following Gerber et. al., it should be considered art-based research.

My project has taken me to roads seldom travelled. I have become reacquainted with past demons, and instead of denying their existence, I have decided to confront them head on and investigate them. I feel apprehensive, yet hopeful of evoking strong reactions from my project’s viewers. I found a few images I would like to share with the class. These images took me on this journey. These are images of the caste system imposed by the Spaniards on Latin Americans, used as a way to tax them and keep control over them. There were 16 “scientific” classifications, but I have found so far eight clear images of these sixteen classifications.

These are the sixteen classifications:

The Mestiza/o classification: the result of the union of a Spaniard and Amerindian.

The Castiza/o classification: the result of the union of a Spaniard and a Mestiza.

The Mulata/o classification: the result of the union of a Spaniard and an African.

The Morisca classification: the result of the union of a Spaniard and a Mulata.

The China Cambuja classification: the result of the union of an African and Amerindian.

The Loba classification: the result of the union of a Chino Cambujo and an Amerindian.

The Chamiza/o classification: the result of the union of a Castizo and Mestiza.

The Coyote classification: the result of the union of a Mestizo and an Amerindian.

In the images of the first six classifications, everyone is dressed as with the garments of the nobility. The last two classifications dressed everyone in rags and depicted them as sickly or violent.

These images speak volumes on the colonizing gaze (bell hooks, 1992).