Professor Fellner
Arts-based Research
Shawn Brown
4/16/18

Hear Me, See Me, Feel Me
By Shawn Brown
This article brought me to a place of clarity regarding my work. Previously, Professor Fellner made a passing statement saying that “I should think about including art into my dissertation.” After reading this article, it’s imperative that I include the arts into my research interests. In fact, the absence of the arts would be a disservice when sharing counter-narratives of Black males in education. Victoria Restler individualizes the importance and influence of art-based research. She states, “Alongside traditional methods of qualitative research analysis, I created four “bodies of (art)work” as part of making and making sense of my dissertation data and research.” Restler posits that art-based research demands equity within the realm of research methodologies/paradigms. The infusion of art-based research is a core value I have started to develop in my practice. Art was/is considered a less substantive discipline throughout my schooling. I had a hierarchical subconscious valuation of art. My insecurity about this conduit of expression and exploration halted my pursuit of art at a young age. I presently contend with having time for inner reflection and artistic expression. Restler makes a poignant statement that art should “count” just like any other form of research. I must become intentional about the way I structure my research to give voice in different modalities. Regarding my interested in telling counter-narratives of Balck males in education, I consider the stories that I have already heard. I think about how our voices whether through speech or written word have been devalued and created the need for creative alternatives. As Restler states, there are many messages that we must share that are “seeable but not sayable.” Art has a distinct way of giving a person voice power like no other medium. I think of hip-hop and how this genre which now saturates the world was created. It stems from young men of color wanted to share their stories passionately using their own vernacular. They reported the happenings of their time with rhythm and cadence. Within hip-hop culture are the MC (Master of Ceremonies), DJ (Disc Jockey), B-boy (dancer) and Graffiti artist. These are the main components, but there are others. I fell within the artistic component of graffiti art, tagging my name to get a reputation and obtain respect from my peers. Later on becoming intrigued with deejaying, cutting, mixing, and scratching. Each component of hip-hop has a specific job to do regarding conveying a message. Restler speaks of the artwork not explaining the text or vice versa, but having a “job to do.” This task is to evoke, create, or express or subdue something. As I look at the pieces or art and the teacher ratings I am forced to see the humanity in the teachers. I am forced to see them as something more than people with ratings. In my position, I can become consumed with the numerical value that is placed on people and forget their humanity. Stories of teachers struggling with identity, death, and the burdens of life make me consider their humanity before their performance. This verbiage and frame of mind have less value than traditional models of leadership. As much as I would like to assume that I see people first and not numbers, this is not true. The pressures of leadership, especially in a time of privatized schooling, makes this endeavor almost impossible. Public school reductions and the growth of charter schools conflates the pressures a leader must navigate.
I face the daunting task of career ascension or valuing human life. Being seen as a strong leader or being perceived as over-sensitive. I remember a first-year teacher on the brink of imploding. He had left his classroom to cry on a nearby staircase because students had stolen a couple of laptops from his room and he was being held accountable. I was at a crossroads, do I give him a break or write him up for leaving the classroom unattended. Human life or write a disciplinary letter. I had to write it up, but the letter never made it to his file. I never want to be the reason a person takes their life or causes harm to others. The article spoke of a “Teacher, Rigoberto Ruelas who committed suicide following the publication of teachers’ value-added scores in the L.A Times where he was graded, “below average.” Teachers internalize ratings as their entire identity. This gentleman believed this person’s criticisms to be final and true. This is the human side of education that isn’t taught in leadership programs throughout the USA. The soft skills of knowing when feedback may need to be held back. The importance of grace, forgiveness, and unconditional positive reinforcement of teachers. I am not perfect at this, but I understand the place and importance of such training. Though it is 2018, a person’s sexual preference is still used to define a person’s character. Teachers must deal with such challenges in real time, in front of children. Restler recall when, “Kirk, a 30ish straight white male teacher roamed the halls and entered each classroom with tears in his eyes reporting on the supreme court decision, “marriage is legal.” If his students were to ask him why he was so emotional, could he share why? Openly? If he did, would there be any repercussions in the court of public opinion? Narratives like the two previously mentioned are all too common and listening to these stories through written word will never suffice. The rubbing creates a texture that tells a much stronger story. Restler gives clear expectations about the process and goal of these vignettes. She states, “These phrases of recorded dialogue, like the rubbings, are textured and bumpy, and in particular and evocative ways, they shape the stakes of my multimodal data.” As researchers and educators, we must be willing to deal with the smooth and rough surfaces within education.